Five Things That Don’t Exist
I enjoy fiction just as much as the next person. However, you probably agree that fiction has no place in fitness and nutrition. It’s especially frustrating when you’re chasing something and failing to catch it because it doesn’t exist. So, to save you weeks of effort and a truckload of frustration, here are five things that you can purge from your brain because, like unicorns, they’re not real.
If only their bodies had gone into starvation mode, they wouldn’t end up like this. Oh, wait…
Starvation Mode. When you were growing up, you may have heard that you should eat smaller meals more often so you don’t go into starvation mode and store fat or at least not lose any weight. Well, I’ve got good news for you: it doesn’t exist. If you take calories low enough, you will lose weight, no matter what. The issue then isn’t losing weight, but what weight you’re losing. If you drop calories too low, you’ll be losing lots of muscle as well as fat. This will make you have about the same percentage of body fat, you’ll just be a smaller version of you. Last time I checked, you probably want to get leaner, not just smaller.
Toning. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard people say they want to tone. “I don’t want to look big, just toned.” Sadly, when it comes to appearances, it all boils down to two things: how much muscle do you have, and how much fat do you have? When you look at the science, tone simply refers to the amount of tension in a muscle at rest. It has nothing to do with appearances. I have a feeling that you don’t want to be walking around with lots of tension in your muscles. In all likelihood, you’re looking to drop some body fat so your muscles are more visible. Once again, the goal is actually being lean.
Turning fat into muscle. This is the body equivalent of alchemy. I hate to break this to you, but you can no more turn fat into muscle than you can turn lead into gold. You can break down fat. You can build muscle. But there isn’t a conversion organ that takes fat from your body, turns it into muscle, and then ships it to whatever part the fat came from. Your body is constantly storing fat and it’s constantly burning fat. Just like your body is constantly breaking down muscle and constantly building muscle. All of this is happening at the same time. When you’re trying to lose weight, you’re trying to make it so the amount of fat burned is greater than the amount of fat stored. A helpful way to think of it is like your bank account over the course of a year. You’re constantly depositing money and spending money. When you look at the end result of that year, you get a gain or loss. But if you zoom in, you see a bunch of transactions, some gains and some losses.
Might as well pack your astrology chart, too.
Ecto/endo/mesomorphs. You may have said or heard it said that you’re an “ectomorph” because you’re tall and skinny. Or that somebody who’s got a bunch of muscle on them is a “mesomorph.” What you may not have heard is that all these terms come from a 1940’s psychologist. That’s right. These things weren’t even meant to describe somebody’s physiology. They were used to describe personality based on how they look. Endomorphs are supposed to be “outgoing, friendly, happy and laid-back, but also lazy and selfish.” Ectomorphs are supposed to be “skinny, weak, and usually tall with low testosterone levels; described as intelligent, gentle and calm, but self-conscious, introverted and anxious.” Mesomorphs are supposed to be “hard and strong naturally with even weight distribution, muscular with weight training, thick-skinned, and as having good posture with narrow waist; described as competitive, extroverted, and tough.” You may sometimes see an article or video about training for your type or eating for your type. By now the absurdity is probably obvious. This is the same time period where they thought you could tell somebody’s personality and even morality by the shape of somebody’s skull.
Connective tissue: the reason you can’t do this.
Cellulite. You’ve probably seen a thousand adverts that tell you that whatever wonderpill helps melt away cellulite. Well, there’s some good news in store: you can save your money because cellulite isn’t real. It’s made-up, like the boogeyman. You might retort “But I can see the cellulite on my thighs. They look like cottage cheese/orange peel/other food that is actually really tasty.” Guess what, that’s just fat. It’s the same as all the other fat on your body. There’s no difference whatsoever. What causes the different appearance, then? Your skin is connected to your muscles by tiny strands of tissue. This is what keeps you from being able to pull your skin in all directions and not being like Edgar from Men in Black. If you want to get rid of the bumpiness on your thighs, you do the same thing as for any other fat: eat fewer calories than you burn.
Hopefully you’ve been unburdened of five myths that have been causing you nothing but trouble. The good news in all of this is that you know what to do already. Focusing on the things that matter (sleeping enough, eating well, and being active) will get you much better results than chasing or running from fictitious beasts. The best part about all of those things is that they’re free. The downside is they require some effort. The question then becomes if you’re willing to put in the work or not. And that’s something I can’t answer for you.
