I have two main types of clients that I work with: athletes and busy professionals. You might think that these two groups couldn’t be more different, but they’re alike in one key area: both of them will grind themselves into dust in order to achieve the thing they’re after. Whether it’s winning their next fight or closing a major deal with another company, it’s in their nature to just plow through and get the job done. It doesn’t matter if they have to wake up very early, stay up very late, or just never take a break. And this is also one of their biggest problems.

You might say, especially if you’re one of them, “What’s so bad about being on all the time? Look at how much you get done.” That’s a fair point, but I think it leaves out something important: a person can only handle so much stress before they start to fall apart, both physically and mentally. Eventually, the quality of what you’re doing drops or it takes you longer to get the job done. Yes, you are technically getting things done. But how much of those things are meaningful or high-quality? How many mistakes are you making or techniques are you screwing up, then having to go back and fix or do over? At what point are you just working for the sake of working?

Maybe this is better illustrated with a story (you might’ve noticed I like stories and myths.) John was going for a walk through his village and was passing Sam’s house. He saw Sam outside, at the edge of the forest, chopping down a tree but making little progress. John walked up to him to see how he was doing.

“How long have you been at it?”

“A couple hours.”

“Looks like it’s taking a while.”

“It sure is.”

“When was the last time you sharpened the axe?” John asked, after glancing at the very dull blade.

“Six months ago.”

“Why don’t you stop and sharpen it again?”

“If I stop and sharpen the axe, then I’m wasting time that I could use to chop.”

The problem is that when you’re in the action, it’s often easy to become like Sam, chopping away with a dull blade. We’re terrified we’ll miss out. Somebody else will be working hard and making progress while we’re sharpening. What if we miss an opportunity to progress because we were too busy resting? But almost everybody agrees that it makes way more sense to stop chopping for an hour, go sharpen the axe, and come back to work. One of the few things that everybody likes to give and nobody likes to take is advice, especially their own.

So what does sharpening the axe look like? Well, there are a couple of universals. Sleep is number one. I’m pretty sure I’ve beaten this horse to well beyond death, but in sum a lack of sleep leaves you sicker, dumber, fatter, and weaker. If you’re not sleeping enough (which is 7-9 hours per night,) then stop reading right now and get that in order. Once you have, you can finish this article.

Another is nutrition. Make sure you’ve gotten yourself to a healthy weight. That’s a pretty nebulous term, so let’s put it this way. If you’re a male and when you look down you can’t see your business, it’s safe to say you’re not at a healthy weight. Once you’ve gotten the sleep thing and food thing taken care of, it’s time to find other ways to recharge. One of the biggest recommendations I make to clients is to find their thing.

What is a “thing?” Your thing is whatever you do that takes your mind off the rest of the world and lets you get lost in it. You can call it a flow state, being present, living in the now, or whatever else you like. Personally, I think play is the right word. Most adults seem to think play is for children and to be shunned lest they be given the scarlet letter “I” for immature. However, if the mark of maturity is being an uptight, irritable, high-strung ping pong ball of a human, then I’ll keep my childish ways. The point is that when you’re doing this thing, all the worries and all the things that are normally bouncing around like a coked-up Sonic the Hedgehog inside your skull are gone. You feel alive and energized, even if your body is a little tired (key words being “a little.”) This is insanely individual and you’ll have to try some things to figure it out, though you might already being doing it unconsciously.

As an example, I lift weights. Yes, there’s the whole get stronger thing. But the thing I like the most was that it was my time away from the rest of the world and its mayhem. No matter what was happening at work or in my life, the weight was always there and it was a totally separate place. For an hour I can escape the tyranny of my own head. You need to find something, anything, like that.

And it can be literally anything. Some people love to work in their gardens, getting lost in cultivating little lives. Other people like to keep things physical. I’m convinced that this is why jiu jitsu is so popular. It’s really hard to worry about work when somebody else is trying to choke you out. Some people like to paint or make music. I’ve got one friend who’s been playing music for almost 20 years now. Honestly, I think he’s doing it right. He has a job that, while not paying him millions of dollars, leaves him plenty of free time to do music. Before the great covid conundrum, he would get off of work and immediately either practice, meet with the band, or play gigs at local venues. Now, he’s working on learning new styles. Maybe that’s why he’s one of the most relaxed, friendly, kind people I’ve ever known. He’s found a way to recharge on a daily basis.

You probably have an idea of what this thing is for you. If not, there’s a pretty simple strategy to figure it out. Every time you do something, ask yourself if it gave you energy or took it away. If the thing you did took away energy (and it wasn’t necessary, like paying bills,) either stop doing it or bring it to a minimum. If you find something that gives energy, do it more. Variety also helps here. Just trying different things can be restorative in itself.

None of this means that you have to go off and live in a commune in the mountains with a bunch of hippies (that sounds like my idea of hell, actually,) but getting in touch with the things that refresh you is probably a better idea than burning yourself to a blackened crisp. It doesn’t have to be for hours on end. A half hour of sharpening the axe can make all the difference.