Last week, we got started with a bunch of misconceptions that I had about fitness, training, and nutrition. Now it’s time for round 2 of this journey through my trashcan of false idea, bad practices, and total cob swabble. Maybe you’re doing or have done some of these yourself. Maybe you’ll chuckle and briefly hang your head in shame. Either way, we’re still learning and will be for a long time. So, with a big scoop of humility to let the medicine go down, let’s get started…again.

6. I need to drink lots of water. For years I followed the “eight glasses of water a day” dogma, never bothering to actually look into it. I would just spend the day pounding down water even though I wasn’t thirsty. At some point, I heard somebody say that whole recommendation was pretty much made up and had no science behind it. True to skeptical jerk form, I looked it up. Turns out it’s true, you don’t need all that water unless you’re losing that much water. The alternate recommendation? Drink when you’re thirsty. What a relief. No need for me to carry stupid water bottles around anymore. It was never causing problems, but it’s sometimes good to question a long standing habit so you don’t waste time following it.

7. If you’re going to get big and strong, you just have to eat a lot of meat. Turns out if you’re going to get big and strong, it’s not enough to just eat meat. You have to eat food. Lots of it. If you’re eating real food (things made from fresh ingredients, not stuff that comes in boxes and plastic wrapping) then this might actually be a challenge. Fortunately, there are ways to get around this. I know because I’ve tried. Remember all that stuff I tell you to do to lose weight? Yeah, do the opposite. Eat faster. Eat hyperpalatable foods (think carbs + fat + salt, a baked sweet potato with butter fits this nicely.) Drink more liquid calories. You get the idea.

8. There’s such a thing as a quick fix. I looked for and tried a whole lot of those things. Pills, diet schemes, certain workout protocols, and god knows what else. Some of them had an effect, most didn’t. And the ones that worked, only worked a little bit and for a short time. In the end, pretty much all of them were a waste of time, effort, and money. That’s why if there’s one thing I harp on, it’s that all the stuff that truly works is the boring, slow stuff. Sleep, good food, sensible training, a healthy psyche, and being a part of healthy relationships/society. None of that is hot and new and sexy. It’s pretty much what your parents told you when you were a kid. The only quick fix that I can think of that actually works are performance enhancing drugs. And even they need some time to work. If somebody’s telling you they’ve got a miracle pill/routine/device/magic spell for fixing health issues, it’s likely the only thing that’ll get fixed is the lack of money in their bank account.

9. Strength is the most important thing for everyone. In the beginning, I thought the only thing that mattered was getting stronger. I thought everybody’s problems of any sort could be solved by getting their squat numbers up. Turns out I was right and wrong at the same time. Yes, people who have a basic level of strength and size do live longer, healthier lives. However, the numbers they need to hit to reap most of the benefits are comparatively low. “But…but…they need to hit powerlifter numbers or when the slightest stressor comes along they’ll wilt like spinach in a hot pan.” Yes, me from 10 years ago, being strong is important. But they don’t need that much strength. If you focus on improving lives, things will go much better than if you try to hammer away at Ethel’s deadlift. Not everybody is as interested in strength as you are. Get over it and make their lives better instead of projecting your values onto theirs.

10. Post-workout shakes are needed for growth. I thought for a long time that if I wanted to put on any size, I had a maximum of 30 minutes to get a shake in me before all the work I did in the gym was lost, stolen by the gains gnomes. Well, the science is in and guess what? As long as you’re eating enough calories and protein, the whole timing thing is pretty insignificant. True, if you’re an elite-level bodybuilder, it actually does matter. But that’s not me and it’s probably not you either. So don’t worry so much about getting your protein shake in less than 29.7 minutes after your final set. Eat good food and plenty of it. You’ll be fine, I promise.

If there’s one thing you learn after doing anything for a while, it’s how much you don’t know. One of the biggest problem any beginner faces is that they’re so stupid they don’t know what they don’t know. This was true for me and it still is. Every single time I start doing something, I become a complete moron all over again. Thank god for that. It’s humbling, frustrating, and at times just plain awkward. It’s also the only way you learn. The sooner you embrace the fact that the fool is the precursor to the master, the better off you’ll be. Oh, and be willing to laugh at your own idiocy. If you take life too seriously, you’ll never get out alive.